X Factor Twin Twerps Will Triumph

At the risk of being lynched by my esteemed colleagues - not to mention alienating the overwhelming majority of the Great British public - I have decided to come out in support of the most annoying auditionees The X Factor has ever seen.

I refer, of course, to John and Edward Grimes. Over the course of the competition the Irish teens have graduated from mildly irritating sideshow to truly infuriating star turn. Their singing is, at best, mediocre, their dancing substantially worse.

In spite of this, they come across as ferociously ambitious, frighteningly ruthless, preposterously arrogant and thoroughly obnoxious. Add to that their absurd look - I can't be the only one to have noticed their uncanny resemblance to Harry Enfield's Double Take brothers - and it's not hard to see how they have become the focus of so much of the nation's ire.

But I like them. And I'll tell you why. It's because they're honest. The X Factor is the exclusive domain of cocky, desperate wannabes. With a few honourable exceptions there's not a single contestant who wouldn't gladly blind their own offspring with blunt, rusty spoons in exchange for a shot at stardom.

And yet most auditionees hide behind an enraging facade of false modesty and pretentious musical integrity. In the midst of this uniquely dishonest world the twins blaze a trail of truth with their unapologetic desire to succeed and refusal to collude in the annual charade of humility and gratitude that engulfs the other contestants.

They're not playing the game and that, for me, makes them the only authentically rock 'n' roll act in the contest. And I dig that.

What's more, given the right platform, they're possibly the most saleable of this year's acts. They're young, handsome and they have a ready-made USP - they're twins. With a bit of vocal coaching and a decent choreographer they could shift units like billy-o (you can almost see the pound-signs rolling in Louis's eyes every time he looks at them).

So, ahead of this weekend's shows from the judges' houses, I'll bet you a footballer's wages they make the final. And I, for one, will be chuffed if they do. They may be a pair of annoying little herberts, but at least they're not liars. Twins to win!

(Edit:Ruby)