X Factor: Letting the public decide was a Jedful cop-out by Simon Cowell

As for Jedward, without any props, gimmicks or (thankfully) semi-naked dancers, they were about as much 'fun' as a burst balloon.

Cowell had spent the whole series saying how abysmal they were.

Their version of Ghostbusters was so weedy it wasn't so much Jive Bunny/Crazy Frog-quality pop as children's TV pap.

Even singing Ghostbusters was a stretch for them. They spoke the words and didn't bother dancing.

Then again, they were better than Lloyd. Having honked his way through I Kissed A Girl and then been mysteriously saved in last week's sing-off (by Cowell) when he lost his voice, this week he wasn't much better.

Cheryl Cole said his voice had recovered but frankly it was hard to tell. He not only looks like Adam Rickit but makes Adam Rickit look talented.

Who's going to win now ? God only knows.

Joe sang Circle Of Life, and made it even more dull than usual.

As usual, Jamie punched the air a lot but when he stopped the big bellowing, it turned out he couldn't hit a note.

Stacey's version of Son Of A Preacher Man was an entirely ersatz Essex version of what Duffy might have done if she was asleep.

Olly resorted to Twist & Shout.

"I've just got to go out there and make this song my own," he declared - before singing it EXACTLY the way you knew he would do: a cheeky chappie pastiche full of winking and Butlins-quality dancing.

Finally we had "a new Danyl" - ie, one who wasn't crying like a baby. Simon had cut his hair, having finally listened to Shelleyvision and realised Danyl needs to look like a pop-star rather than some backpacker from New Zealand.

He may be the sort of psycho you wouldn't want to get lost in the woods with, but even I would admit Danyl can sing.

Anyway, after last night, it's hard to care. The show has lost any credibility it ever had.

(Edit:Ruby)