Raising twins

Avoid comparisons. Firstly, for your twins to be raised as individuals, you need to avoid comparing them. Comparisons are a big no-no as nobody likes to be compared, including your twins. Just like other children, your twins may develop at their individual pace and time, each with their own talents. Show your support to your twins by honouring their differences. By doing so, your twins feel appreciated and will not be afraid to express themselves.

Don't conform. Just because other people may see your twins as carbon copies of each other, this does not mean that you should do that as well. "Stereotypical" twin parenting, such as dressing twins exactly alike, may seem cute at first, but the novelty may gradually wear out and disrupt your children's development. When you treat your twins as one and the same, they will naturally assume that they should act the same.

Thus, don't assume that your children will be similar. Offer them options so that they can learn to understand themselves through their choices.

No labels. When talking about them, refrain from referring to them as "the twins", "the girls" or "the boys" in your conversation. They would think you see them as one entity. Most twins get irritated when referred as such, especially by their parents.

Also, avoid labeling them, especially in public. There is no such thing as "the bad twin" or "the good twin". Labeling them as such could lead them to think that they are indeed the "good" or the "bad" twin, which restrains them from developing their own unique personality.

Find out their interests. As parents to your children, no one will be able to better understand your child than you. Use this to your advantage. Observe what each of your twins' likes and dislikes and encourage them to pursue activities that they enjoy.

If one of them likes to read, bring him to the bookstore more often and if the other twin is into sports, encourage him to practise more. It is alright for each of them to pursue their own interests. Do not force them into the same activities just because one twin likes it. Besides allowing them to explore what they like to do, this will also allow them to meet and interact with other children.

The highs and the lows

The struggle for individuality between twins may lead to fights and rebellious behaviour. In order to prevent this from happening, nip it in the bud by supporting and promoting your twins' individuality from young.

(Edit:Ruby)