'Raising Twins'--Doctor writes how-to book on twins from experience

To keep her 18-month-old from feeling left out, Flais talked to him and brought out special toys while the twins nursed. She also involved him in basic baby care -- such as fetching diapers -- and played games with him while the twins napped, which continued to work well when the twins were older.

"It's hard to play 'Chutes and Ladders' with two toddlers running around," Flais said.

Although parents can customize Flais' suggestions to the family's situation, she stresses the importance of maintaining each twin's individuality, beginning when the children are newborns.

Ways to promote individuality include dressing them in nonmatching clothes, not feeling obligated to buy two of everything, encouraging a child's unique talents and interests, respecting individual readiness for certain stages of development, such as toilet training, and always referring to each by name.

"Friends and relatives would ask me 'how's Matthew,' and then, 'how are the twins?' " Flais said.

Parenting time
Finally, people might not know that parents need help unless they ask for it. She also urges people to never underestimate the importance of supportive and collaborative parenting with their spouse. She often still finds herself juggling two work schedules with her four young children: Matthew, 7; Andrew and Ryan, 6; and Nancy, 3.

Flais did finally take a "parenthood sabbatical." She plans to return to her Joliet practice mid-2010.

"Mike has been my rock," Flais said. "When we found we were going to have twins, I took the news like 'deer in the headlights,' but he was always so happy and so optimistic. He would have these 12-hour days where he was taking care of three kids under 2 and he did an awesome job."

Flais' book is available through online bookstores and also through the HealthyChildren bookstore (www.healthychildren.org), which features books all published or developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

(Edit:Ruby)