What's Different About Parenting Twins?
2009-07-02 Author:Pamela Prindle Fierro Source:About.com
Parenting Mulitples as Individuals
Every parent is tasked with guiding their children as they grown into individuals. Where parents of multiples face an extra challenge is in helping their children become individuals in spite of -- and in support of -- their status as a multiple. Despite parents' best efforts to treat their multiples as indivudals, to avoid comparisons and labeling, it's a constant fight to fend off society's views. Multiples face a barrage of stereotypes and are constantly confronted with comparisons because of their twinship. Their friends, neighbors, teachers and even well-meaning family members will attempt to label and categorize them. (She's the good twin, the smart twin, the pretty twin... If one likes baseball, the other one must also... He's outgoing, so his twin must be shy.)
Where singleton siblings often feel the sting of sibling rivalry, the effects are offset by birth order and by the passing of time. They have years (or in some cases many months) to achieve the milestones set by older siblings. For multiples, the milestones are expected to be simultaneous.
Therefore, it's very important for parents of multiples to overcome the stereotypes, labeling and comparisons by offering continual guidance and encouragement to their children, supporting them as they develop as individuals within the context of their relationship as multiples. |